MYSTERY SURROUNDS DISAPPEARANCE OF VISITING DOCUMENTARY-MAKERS

Loal police have admitted today that they are baffled as to the
reason/s behind the (apparently voluntary) disappearance of visiting
amateur filmmakers Ron Fugelseth and Patrick Radcliff.

The pair had become familiar to many of Astoria's residents duirng
their previous visits to film two web documentaries about the 1980s
Spielberg-penned hit THE GOONIES that was filmed in Astoria in 1984
and went on to gather a cult-like nationally and internationally.

Local residents who worked closely with Fugelseth and Radcliff
duirng their recent visit have spoken admiringly of the pair's
passion for the film, but have nonetheless admitted that in the
final few weeks of the pair's stay, such passion had begun to more
closely resemble an unhealthy obsession.

Although the pair had always been known as perfectionists, they had
allegedly barely set foot outside their hotel suite since shooting
had finished and their footage was ready to be edited on the pair's
cutting-edge laptop, affectionately called "DATA" - the name of a
character from the film.

Other guests, staying in the rooms located directly below also had
become alarmed in recent days, with frequent "chatter" being heard
coming from the pair's suite, above, duirng all hours of the day and
night. Not all that was said was easily audible, but some of the
more frequently repeated phrases sounded like "...my dream my wish,
and it didn't come true"; "the only thing we serve is TONGUE";
and "what is this, a nuclear Saturday?!"

Things seemingly took a definite turn for the worse two days ago,
when Fugelseth and Radcliff, looking decidely disheveled and
sporting prominent stubble and baggy eyes, were spotted shopping at
retro clothing store Space 17. According to store assistant Carol
Parkinson (a former acquaintance of the pair who spoke briefly with
them on this occasion), they made a rather suspicious purchase of
some child-size parachute pants, members-only jackets, hawaiian
shirts, and any trenchcoats they had "with more pockets than an
arena at the word snooker championships!"

When quizzed as to the reason behind the pair's desire to acquire
such stock, the pair's only response was a number of disjointed and
unrelated phrases, such as "We have...the key...to One-Eyed...Willy"
and "down here it's our time, it's our time down here."

They were last seen on the hillside roads close to the abandoned old
restaurant, cycling on what appeared to be a pair of child-sized
bright pink bikes, which were later found at the base of a steep
bushy embankment.

Police are calling on anyone who has seen or spoken with Ron or
Patrick lately to get in touch with them.

Mitchel West -- Astoria Chronicler